Is humor important in your life

That is why humor is the most important thing in love

"Oh, grandpa! Are you looking at yourself in the mirror again? Just like Snow White, just not so beautiful! ”My grandparents were married for over 60 years, it wasn't always easy. And over the decades, my grandma loved to make fun of grandpa. The two of them often joked with each other, with Grandma being the one with the fluffy jokes and Grandpa being the one with the dry slogans.

"A man with whom I have nothing to laugh about‘? So no, that would really be nothing ”, Omi said to me not just once. Scientists have now also examined the importance of humor in long-term relationships.

The older the funnier

For this, psychologists have the University of California 87 couples selected who were either between 40 and 50 years old and married to each other for at least 15 years, or who were 60 to 70 years old and had at least 35 years of marriage behind them. The researchers followed these couples for 13 years, filmed 15-minute conversations between them and analyzed their emotional interactions - from content to body language and facial expression to the tone of their voice.

Result: the older the couples got, the more humor and tenderness there was between them - and the less negative interactions they showed. In other words: in old age people laugh more and more together instead of nagging them.

Humor is when you laugh anyway

Actually, one would assume that with every stroke of fate experienced - and these inevitably become more numerous in the course of life - cynicism, resignation and sadness arise and grow. But the opposite is the case: "Our results shed light on one of the great contradictions of age," says study author and psychology professor Robert Levenson. "Although older people have often experienced the loss of friends and family members in long marriages, they are relatively happy and have hardly any depression or anxiety."

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According to the study, the general negative emotional behavior of the couples decreased with increasing age, while the positive behavior increased more and more. This is proof that every year we focus more and more on the good in our life. The researchers have not yet analyzed the reason for this; So far they have limited themselves to marriages and no other forms of relationship and only to heterosexual couples.

A lot of serenity, a lot of love

Most of the little things that we argue about in everyday relationships are not worth the stress and high blood pressure. Things like jealousy, an offended ego, the thing with the wrongly expressed toothpaste tube, ... The older we get, the more we have experienced and survived, become more relaxed with ourselves and others and also with the partner. In everyday life as well as in love.

The older we get, the more we rest in ourselves, in many cases we look behind the facade and we can increasingly laugh at ourselves. And then, as you know, humor works particularly well - also and especially in love. People are lovingly teasing instead of teasing each other, laughing together instead of quarreling. Less anger, less contempt, more winks and smiles.

Humor alone is not enough, but it helps

Of course, humor alone is no guarantee for a long and happy relationship. This includes a whole range of other things - for example, kindness and respect.

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But even if nothing in life and in love can be changed forever and everything, it can be beneficial for mental health to have another person by your side in old age. Someone with whom you can joke about lost teeth or shaky hands and forgetfulness. Yes, you can and yes, that's good. "In life you need someone with whom you can laugh, otherwise you just can't stand it all", Omi always said. And as always, Omi was right.