When are narcissists good people?

Narcissist or strong personality: 10 signs showing people who are genuinely confident

A healthy self-esteem is essential for professional - and private - success in life. Only with sufficient self-confidence can you develop a realistic self-image, optimally develop your strengths and have the courage to recognize and seize career opportunities. At the same time you are aware of your weaknesses and have the soft skill "critical ability". This allows you to work on yourself and develop yourself personally. The list of the benefits of having healthy self-esteem for your career is long. Today, however, the focus should be on the question: What does “healthy self-confidence” mean and how can it be recognized?

A culture of narcissism and inferiority complexes

Unfortunately, there is a culture of lack of self-confidence in Germany and all of the western industrialized nations. Many children are growing up with inferiority complexes. For some, they even lead to a narcissistic to psychopathic personality disorder. Jens Hoffmann mentions specific figures in "Die Zeit":

Around two percent of the German population show signs of a psychopathic and around four percent of a narcissistic personality disorder. According to Sabine Moehring from “Klardenker”, this number is even ten percent on the management level.

The result is a destroyed working atmosphere, manipulation and even mobbing as well as self and external exploitation. It is therefore of interest to employers to be able to distinguish narcissistic personalities from those with healthy self-confidence in job interviews and promotions. As an applicant or employee, you should also keep your eyes open in order to be able to pull the emergency brake in a harmful working atmosphere before it begins to endanger your health. So how do you recognize employees and managers with healthy self-confidence and how can you differentiate them from narcissists and complex personalities? Dr. Travis Bradberry gives the answer on LinkedIn Pulse:

1. Confident language

People with healthy self-confidence are not know-it-alls. You don't have to be loud and always be the center of attention like narcissists. But they are also not afraid to take the floor, to express a concrete opinion and to defend it in conflict situations. At the same time, however, they let themselves be convinced by factual arguments and do not see a change of opinion as a direct loss of face.

2. Center of attention? No thanks!

Because a person with healthy self-confidence does not always have to be the center of attention, he works more effectively and convincingly through performance instead of empty words. He climbs the career ladder quite unobtrusively - without inflated words and constant pats on the back.

3. Celebrate small successes

Personal development is an important factor in any career path. Mastering a small challenge here, celebrating a small success there - this is how you build up your self-confidence in the long run. Concentrate on your strengths, work consciously on your weaknesses and then record the results in writing in a small, personal success diary.

4. "Do not judge that you will not be judged"

Believer or not, this quotation from the Bible is an important principle for every person with a healthy sense of self. Only healthy self-esteem enables a person to accept themselves with their strengths and weaknesses and to tolerate this imperfection in other people as well. So she doesn't make hasty judgments or blaspheme the strange colleague from the other department.

5. There is no such thing as “learned out”

While the narcissist prefers to see himself as “perfect”, a person with healthy self-confidence knows that he has never stopped learning in life. He therefore strives for constant improvement, both personally and in his specialist area. As a result, he convinces in the long term with true competence and a willingness to learn that also has a thrilling effect on the team.

6. A high level of initiative

People with healthy self-confidence are also captivating because they like to take the initiative. You seize opportunities and have the courage to seize them. This results from the knowledge that you can master unknown problems and challenges yourself. Once done, a new entry is created in the success diary.

7. Don't be afraid of risks

Everyone needs this courage to take calculated risks in their professional life. Only those who dare to do something can also gain something. In that case, maybe a new job, a promotion, or a raise. A person with healthy self-confidence knows their own worth, their abilities, but also their weaknesses. This enables them to better assess risks and approach them more realistically. This lowers the probability of failure many times over.

8. Happiness does not depend on external factors

For a narcissist, failure like this would be an unbearable loss of face. A person with healthy self-confidence, on the other hand, does not take it personally. He brushes the dust off his shoulders and starts all over again. His happiness in life does not depend on a job, bank balance or social recognition. It radiates from within and is independent of external factors. This gives him an irresistible charisma. People with low self-esteem are magically drawn to those with healthy self-esteem.

9. Good listeners

The fact that people with healthy self-confidence are usually very popular socially could also be due to the fact that they like to listen. He doesn't have to hear himself talk all the time to feel important. Instead, he appreciates other opinions and ideas. He practically absorbs them, tries to understand them and thereby open up new horizons. A simple but effective way of personal development.

10. Treat instead of envy

The final clue to identify someone with healthy self-confidence is also a reason for their social popularity: they can truly and authentically enjoy other people's successes. Envy, resentment, or even feeling threatened are absent from his emotional vocabulary. Instead, he advocates the motto: "A joy shared is a joy doubled!"

Mirijam Franke has turned her passion into a job and has been working successfully as a freelance copywriter for many years. As part of her degree in media management, she came into contact with the topic of online marketing for the first time and has since made a name for herself throughout Germany with a lot of personal experience, the courage to be clear and a wink in the areas of marketing, work, startups, HR and work-life balance do. She has been an editor at OnlineMarketing.de since May 2016.