An androphilic AFAB demiboy is considered gay

What means …? Small overview of queer terms

After I noticed on Twitter that between the Pride Month entries and a few other discussions there was always confusion about the meaning of LGBTQ * terms, I thought to myself: A small overview might not be bad. Therefore: terms, definitions and links for further reading collected in one article.

I do not claim to be completely complete - but I would be happy to add something that is missing if you point it to me.

A short note at the beginning: I am only trying to give an overview of the general terms and the common definitions. Ultimately, however, it is up to everyone to decide which label they identify themselves with. Please don't force labels on people. OK?

While one can argue about whether or not it is good to use LGBTQ * as a term instead of simply saying “queer”: it has become established. Hence a small overview of any letters that may appear in it and their meaning.

L - Lesbian
G - Gay (gay)
B - bisexual
T - transgender (transgender)
Q - queer
Q - Questioning (not being sure / trying yourself)
I - Inter *
A - Asexual
A - Ally
P - pansexual
* - Everything else

I myself mostly use LGBTQ * here in the blog, because LGBT is the established term that the Q for queer and the asterisk together add to “other forms of queerness”. Queer effectively means: “Everything that is not cis-mono-hetero-allo.” This very long abbreviation (i.e. LGBTQQIAAP *) is often criticized for various reasons.

By the way, the asterisk is - both here and in the context of the gender asterisk (friends) - a catch symbol, based on the motto "add anything". You also know it from computer science.

Let's get to the Allosexualities. Here is the first term: Allo means “not asexual”. But more on that in a moment.

Heterosexual - Person is sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex.
Heteroromantic - Person is romantically attracted to people of the opposite sex.
Gay - Person is sexually attracted to people of the same gender.
Homoromantic - Person is romantically attracted to people of the same sex.
Bisexual - Person feels sexually attracted to people of the same sex and at least one of the opposite sex.
Biromantic - Person feels romantically attracted to people of the same sex and at least one opposite sex.
Pansexual - Person is sexually attracted to people regardless of gender.
Pan-romantic - Person is romantically attracted to people regardless of gender.
Humid - homosexuality between males
Lesbian - homosexuality between women

Yes, I differentiate between sexual and romantic attraction, as these often, but not always, match. There are also pan-romantic heterosexual people for example.

It should also be briefly said: Feeling sexual attraction does not necessarily mean that you will have sex. People can be bisexual or pansexual even though they have only had sex with people of one gender.

By the way, some people also use the terms "androphilic"(Feels attracted to men) and"gynephil“(Feels attracted to women) to denote their sexual orientation, especially when they are not within the binary spectrum themselves. The problem is that the homo / hetero terms are very much designed so that the person himself is not binary. Unfortunately, the terms do not have a romantic / sexual distinction, nor is there a corresponding term for "is attracted to non-binary people".

Let's get to the asexual and aromantic spectrum. Yes, it's a spectrum. And yes, people from this spectrum are queer too. And remember again: the opposite of asexual is allosexual. The opposite of aromantic is alloromantic. When allo is on its own it usually means "neither asexual nor aromantic".

Asexual - Person is not sexually attracted to other people.
Aromantic - Person is not romantically attracted to other people.
Aroace - Short for "aromantic & asexual".
Demisexual - In principle, a person does not feel sexually attracted to other people until a certain basis has been created (e.g. a basis of trust exists, one knows each other better, one has talked to one another, or something else).
Demiromantic - In principle, a person does not feel romantically attracted to other people until a certain basis has been created (e.g. a basis of trust exists, one knows each other better, one has talked to one another, or something else).
Gray asexual (also gray asexual) - person is somewhere on the spectrum between allo- and asexual.
Gray-aromatic (also gray-romantic) - person lies on the spectrum between allo- and aromantic.

Again, it should be emphasized that just because someone does not have sex, this person is not asexual. At the same time, there are also asexual people who have sex. And yes, asexual people can even enjoy sex. Again, sex is not synonymous with sexual attraction.

Likewise, aromantic people can still be in a relationship.

Let's get to the topic of gender - and the queer identities and words / expressions that go with it.

Afab - Assigned Female at Birth - At birth, the gender was entered as "female".
Amab - Assigned Male at Birth - At birth, the gender was entered as "male".
Cis / cis sex - The gender assigned at birth corresponds to the self-perception. Note: Cis is an adjective. So: a cis man. A cis woman.
Trans / transgender - The gender assigned at birth does not match the self-perception. Note: trans is also an adjective. So: a trans man. A trans woman. Not: A trans woman!
Inter * / intersex - The gender cannot be clearly determined because the person was born with ambiguous gender characteristics or there is a discrepancy between the various gender markers.
Dya / Dyadic
- The gender can be clearly determined. The person's body can be clearly assigned to a gender.
Enby / non-binary / non-binary - Gender identities apart from the male / female binary representation of our society.
Agender - Person does not feel they belong to any gender.
Gender fluid - The gender identity is not permanent and changes.
Demigirl - A person who partially, but not entirely / always, identifies as female.
Demiboy - A person who partially but not entirely / always identifies as male.
Misgendering - Addressing a person of the wrong gender / using the wrong pronoun.
Deadnaming - Use the maiden name of a trans person instead of the chosen name.

There are more non-binary identities. You can find an overview in English here.

A couple of things that I would like to make clear here: “Biological gender” is a myth and nowhere near as clear as many people like to do. There are genital organs, there are chromosomes, there are hormone levels, and a lot more. These aspects do not have to match and often do not - even without being noticed. Incidentally, various inter * people were assigned a binary gender at birth - possibly including medical interventions in early childhood.

Another important thing: People who like to dress / act like the opposite sex are therefore not automatically trans. There are many reasons for doing this. Some just like it, some do it for social reasons, some have a corresponding fetish and others do it as an art form (drag queens / drag kings). At the same time, a trans person who does not dress excessively according to their gender is no less trans as a result.

Oh, and lastly, because I've been asked this several times: “transsexual” is the outdated term for “transgender”. Since life as a trans person has nothing to do with sexuality - it actually has to do with your own identity.

We come to an area in which there is repeated argument as to whether it belongs now. For me he definitely does - because polyamorous relationships also deviate from social standards.

Polyamory describes a relationship in which more than two partners are involved. However, not every partner in the relationship has to be polyamorous.

Polyamory - (Mostly romantic) love for more than one person at the same time.
Polyamor be - to love more than one person at the same time.
Metamour - Another partner of a partner. (For example, the boyfriend's boyfriend with whom you have no relationship.)
Polycule / Polykül - A relationship network between more than two people that often extends beyond a group. So including Metamours from Metamours and their partners ...
Relationship anarchy - A philosophical attitude in which every person in a relationship is free to have sex with other people or to enter into a relationship. (Note: not every poly relationship is relationship anarchic.)
Triad - A closed relationship between three people who are all in a relationship with one another.
V / Vee - A relationship in which one person has a steady relationship with two other people, but they are not in a relationship with each other.
Compersion - The opposite of jealousy (being happy that a partner is happy with someone else too).

Here, too, there is a nice overview in English with additional terms. I also recommend this entry from the "[Writing] About Us" series. (Note on this: Writing About Us is still open, by the way. I would be very happy to receive further contributions!)

One thing that I would like to address at this point, even if it has nothing to do with queerness per se, is that of course people from other marginalized groups also belong to the queer community. There are queer BIPoC (black / indigenous / People of Color), queer disabled and queer neurodiverse people. The one does not exclude the other. So be open and don't exclude anyone. Our community should be inclusive.

Since this expression has also led to confusion several times, a little explanation of the word Queermisia / Homomisia / Transmisia etc. The word “Misia” means “hate” - and I, like others, use the word instead of queer phobia / homophobia / transphobia, as “phobia” implies that people are afraid of queer / homosexual / trans people. Of course they don't. They just have an irrational hatred.

In addition, let it be the word again TERF explained. This means “trans exclusionary radical feminist”. It describes feminists who exclude trans people from their feminism - often also show transmisional behavior, and in some cases even actively attack trans people. What the word is not is a slur, so TERFs are also welcome to pick out the victim card.

I don't want to write much more. I hope the entry gave an overview. Should I have given something wrong - or should something be missing - just let me know, okay? I'll be happy to change it then!

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The featured picture was taken by Sidnei Siqueira and published under the CC4.0 divided. It was post-processed by me.