Marry Muslims for love

Marriage and Family in IslamThe woman shouldn't fall into nowhere

Islam attaches great importance to the institution of marriage and encourages the establishment of families. Countless Islamic sayings about the importance of marriage and family have been handed down. Mohammed is ascribed the phrase: "Blessed among you is one who is good to his wife." In another statement, on the other hand, divorce is described as permitted, but as a process that God does not like. Mathias Rohe, Islamic scholar and lawyer, on the importance of Muslim marriage:

"This is the basic requirement for people of different sexes to be able and allowed to live together. On the one hand, it has the purpose of providing for offspring, but also of human fulfillment."

"It's basically a civil matter"

As in the Catholic or Protestant Church, marriage itself is understood as a holy covenant. But when a marriage comes about, Muslims tend to rely more on pragmatic means, says the expert on Islamic law, professor at the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg.

"It is a civil-legal contract that is concluded between the parties involved, so, unlike in Christianity, for example, it is actually not the idea that God is now bringing people together - directly. But it is Marriage also has a religious component. One should marry. If only so that one stays on the right path, so to speak. Basically, it is a civil law matter with a religious connotation - and viewed positively. "

Going to the registry office, the wedding according to German law, is sufficient for many Muslims in Germany to also recognize this marriage from an Islamic point of view. Serap Guler, State Secretary for Integration in North Rhine-Westphalia, got married in Germany. As a German Muslim, she thinks, the Islamic wedding ceremony today ...

"... more of a symbolic meaning. And is something where you say: Okay, this is something cultural, this is tradition, that is maintained. But I believe that the original idea is hardly really serious today Taken. And the original idea is something very beautiful, because it must be made clear once again that in the event of a separation, the woman will not fall into nothing. "

"The marriage contracts are sometimes chaotic"

Mathias Rohe notes with satisfaction that the Islamic wedding is less important than the civil marriage - this is what most Muslim associations and clubs in Germany are based on:

"Civil marriage is good and useful. Most organizations also say: We do not take part in religious marriages until people have entered into a civil marriage. Simply because only civil marriage is legally valid here. And if so is that in Islam marriage is a contract, then only a valid contract helps. And that is why - religious marriage alone, so many say, is not okay, because it does not grant any rights to those involved. "

Mathias Rohe is an expert in Islamic law (imago stock & people / argum / Falk Heller)

In addition, most Islamic marriage contracts are worded in an extremely unprofessional and ambiguous way by today's standards.

"What we know from our own field research - and we were on the move very intensively, we have collected thousands of marriage and divorce documents - it is sometimes really haywire. There are organizations that conclude marriage contracts with extremely unclear content . One has the impression that they understand neither very much about Islamic law nor about German law. That is quite a mess. And that is why it is very desirable that more clarity is provided there. "

"In the Koran women are not second class people"

And what happens when the bond is tied for life? Is the woman subject to the man? Ideologies of rule cannot be based on Islam, says Enes Curuk, a young Muslim who studied Islamic theology in Ankara and worked as an imam for a while.

"I think you would be doing the Koran an injustice if you were to say that the Koran gives more rights to men than to women and women have fewer rights. Or women are generally second-class people. That is not understandable and cannot be deduced. For that you really have to interpret a lot yourself. "

Enes Curuk considers discrimination against women to be incompatible with the Koran (private)

Neither the Koran nor Mohammed would call for discriminatory attitudes towards women.

"Nowhere is it described, neither in the life of the Prophet nor in the Koran, that women are forbidden from going to work, that they are not responsible for the financial or economic success of the household. Men should also care about upbringing and Take care of the entertainment of their children, just as women do. I believe that this is also an important and healthy way of illuminating the Koran from this point of view. "

Who with whom?

But who is actually allowed to marry whom in Islam - and who is not? In addition Mathias Rohe.

"In Islam, the basic assumption is that there can only be one marriage between a man and a woman. Same-sex marriages or civil partnerships - that is not even discussed."

In addition to the ban on homosexual marriages, marriages between close relatives and so-called "milk relationships" are also prohibited. So whoever had a wet nurse cannot marry. At least as sensitive: interreligious marriages. There are, however, significant differences in the major Islamic law schools.

"According to Shiite law, there may be no interreligious marriages at all. According to Sunni-Islamic law, a Muslim man may marry a non-Muslim woman - a Jew or a Christian, for example. But not the other way around."

For a long time there were also marriage restrictions among Christians

While men are free to choose their wife, women, on the other hand, have to observe several rules. Such inequality is unacceptable in a democracy, says the North Rhine-Westphalian CDU politician and integration expert Serap Guler. It recalls similar developments among Christian Germans.

"If we look back 40 years in our country, then it was anything but a matter of course that a Catholic would marry a Protestant. In this respect, this discussion that we have today with Muslims in Germany is something that always affects them Religion is withdrawn or always justified with religion. But it is nothing that the local majority society does not know from its own experience in relation to religion. Today for a great many, I do not want to say all, for a great many none at all Ask more when a Catholic marries a Protestant or vice versa. "

"An education process that still takes time"

The number of Muslims who have married a non-Muslim man or woman is still low. Approximately every tenth married Muslim woman has a spouse of a different faith, according to estimates. The very thought of possible religious and cultural conflicts of interest leads many Muslims to choose a Muslim partner. Detached from this: Curuk, the former imam, sees a change in the Islamic communities.

"Nonetheless, there is also the development of saying: What counts is love and happiness. When two loving people decide to take a common path, that is respected.

Serap G├╝ler looks optimistically to the future (dpa / Rolf Vennenbernd)

Serap Guler is also observing a change.

"And that's why, to be honest, I don't want to be deprived of the hope that at some point it won't play a role for us either. When I think of the last 20 years alone, there is a development here that it is less differentiated, whether it's a Muslim or a Muslim. I also know Muslim women who have decided on a non-Muslim and where the families may not have been enthusiastic at the beginning, but ultimately supported this decision , which simply takes time, that it plays less of a role and thus also makes it clear that you have actually arrived in Germany. "